A Courageous Soul

My friend Bou Dith Pran died yesterday.

His life was depicted in the film, the Killing Fields. For most Americans, the first and perhaps only time, they heard about the Cambodian genocide was through his story.

I met Bou for the first time when I was 22 years old as a recent college graduate attending the Asian American Journalists Association convention. When I introduced myself to him, he was so excited to meet another Cambodian American journalist that he immediately took me by the hand to introduce me around to his friends. He's a hero in that community and immediately became my best advocate.

I invited him to dinner with my family because he was missing some good Southeast Asian cooking. At dinner my sister bluntly told him that she though her experience during the Pol Pot time was much worse than what was depicted in the movie, the Killing Fields. He looked her squarely in the eye and said that he agreed. And in that look, I recognized that there was an understanding.

He will be missed.

Asheville, NC - Keep it Weird

Showed New Year Baby at the Fine Arts Theatre in Asheville, NC last night. Asheville is wonderful little mountain town with lefty tendencies, a lively art scene and eccentric townies.

The turnout was good and the audience seemed really moved and engaged with the film. A recurring theme in these screenings has been the one Cambodian in the audience. None of the stops on my Southern Circuit tour are home to large Cambodian communities. But there's always one.

He was very moved by the film and shared with the audience his family's story. When his mother was three months pregnant, her husband was killed by the Khmer Rouge. Instead of being named the "lucky child," he was repeatedly called a curse by his own mother. At the end of the night, all I could do was give him a hug.

Welcome to the South . . .

I had my first screening last night in High Point, NC as part of the Southern Circuit tour of independent filmmakers (www.southarts.org). For the next two weeks, I'll be showing New Year Baby in nine different cities. Good thing I got a massage yesterday (thank you John and Astrud!).


We had a modest crowd, but one audience member in particular made it all worth it. A Cambodian American woman in her 50's was there with a van-load of her Anglo American sponsors from a local Presbyterian church.

Her story was very similar to my family's: surviving the Khmer Rouge, adopted surviving extended family, fleeing to Thai refugee camps. She was very moved by the film and told me about her son who is very near my age. He harbors, she fears, a surprising anger projected toward Cambodia and life in general.

It reminded me that even the second generation is effected by the trauma of the Khmer Rouge time whether it is expressed in guilt, over-achievement, or anger. What makes it worse is that often times, we cannot identify what is at the root of these emotions.

I gave her a copy of the film and told her that perhaps her son would like to see the film, hoping it would spark a new kind of conversation. She seemed grateful.

A New Year . . .

We've had an amazing year of New Year Baby screenings all over the world. Though it may feel like the life cycle of the film is closing, in many ways, it's just getting revved up again in time for the national PBS broadcast on May 27, 2008.

2008 will also be a pivot year for me - channeling all the energy from New Year Baby to Khmer Legacies - my new project to videotape testimonies of Cambodian genocide survivors. We're starting by videotaping testimonies in the New York City with the Cambodian community there.

Coming a Long Way

We had our largest fundraising event yet last night where we raised more money in a single event than ever before. The theatre was packed.

We invited some students from the Bronx Ghetto Film School who filled up the first two rows. They had helped us test screen an early rough cut of the film and it was great to invite them to see the final product. When I re-entered the theatre as the credits started to roll, I heard the tough Bronx teenagers sniffling and saw them wiping their eyes. When I met them almost a year ago, their only reference to Cambodia came from the Dave Chappelle Show.

I took questions and made an appeal for donations to support the outreach campaign. I felt very confident about the ask, mainly from new coaching I had gotten from public speaking coach Jeremy Nash (http://www.communicationatwork.net/index.htm). I came into my first meeting with him thinking that I would get coached on where to put my hands and how to speak eloquently. But Jeremy taught me that it's less important what you say than who you're being in that moment. Allowing my true self to shine through is what allows you to connect with people. That's what makes people magnetic. Jeremy was a kind, compassionate and generous coach. After one session with him, I don't think I will go into any meeting with the same old "tools" again.

Happy to be Home

Richard and Marcia are back at home in Santa Ana, California. Both are happy to be in their own beds, but miss the convenience of push button services like food and nursing like they enjoyed in the Bangkok hospital.

They are both still in pain, but they are treating that appropriately. They're grateful for the love and support of friends and family nearby who are cooking dinner and doing grocery runs for them.

James and Amy leave Bangkok for Orange County soon as well.

Charles and I leave for home tomorrow after a New Year Baby screening tonight in Phnom Penh. Charles is less sore.

Together

We just said goodbye yesterday to our last guest from the Cambodia tour.

It was amazing what a strong bond we created in the past ten days.

On Friday Feb. 16th, Charles, his parents Rich & Marcia and our guest Ron Ardres were in a vehicle accident on a dirt road from Koh Ker to Preah Vihear. They were in an SUV when the driver lost control in a fish tail situation. The vehicle left the road and rolled over twice. It came to a rest down a small rise, on it's side and facing the direction from which it came.

Only Charles was wearing a seat belt and walked away from the accident. He was hit on the head by the collapsing roof but no bleeding. He then directed a valiant evacuation operation. The others were badly hurt and at the time, we did not know what kind of internal injuries they suffered.

We were traveling in a 6 vehicle convoy. Thank goodness we had both Dr. KG Bennet and M.D. Kenway Louie on the trip. They responded to the injured right away. One guest described the response as “superhero”. I think it is an apt description. There was no cell reception there so we could not call for help. The doctors assessed that all four of the more seriously injured could be driven to Siem Reap about 3 hours away. Thirty minutes later, after KG’s second examination of Marcia, he & Charles created a spine support for her out of bush wood and clothing.

Charles’s parents suffered spine and head trauma. That evening they were evacuated to a Bangkok hospital.

While Charles, KG, James (Charles’s brother), Amy (James’ long time partner) and I were at the hospital, the rest of our guests convened at the Hanumanalaya.

Later they told us that at dinner, though there was plenty of space at 4 tables, all thirteen crowded around a single table for eight. They couldn’t bear to be separated that night.

While Rich & Marcia are in pain, all doctors agree to expect a full recovery in time. Ron hurt his foot and prefers to treat it himself. Charles of course keeps ticking. James & Amy are still in Bangkok with Rich & Marcia.

From Cambodia

For the past few days, I have been in Cambodia, introducing the film to various NGOs here which work in the area of justice and human rights. My goal is for them to see the film, love it and want to use it in their programming as they gear up for the Khmer Rouge Tribunal.

So far, we have two screenings set up - one in Phnom Penh and one in Siem Reap. The organizations seem to be very excited about the possibilities of collaboration.

I have not been in Phnom Penh for two years and it's like I can see the city changing before my eyes. There are more cars here now and ever before. Today I saw a red Hummer and a yellow Miata. There's construction everywhere.

I confess, I cannot wait until our guests arrive from America and England. I love playing host to tourists. It's like being able to experience a place for the first time again through their eyes.

Our host, Nick Ray and Kulikar Sotho, could not be more generous. They have made our stay incredibly easy and elegant. Nick and Kulikar run one of five companies, including Hanuman Tourism (www.hanumantourism.com). They are Cambodia experts and wonderful people. I am grateful to call them friends.

All is Well

Recently I've made the decision to cut the umbilical cord and quit my full time job at NBC News in order to be a filmmaker full time. Just that simple decision brought up a lot of fear and anxiety that is beyond the realm of what is rational.

Sometimes I would feel exhilerated, like this was the beginning to my real life. Like I was ready to take off like a rocket booster. Other times, I would ride the subway and look at all the New Yorkers around me, wondering how come they can be comfortable and secure and I cannot.

My mother, who is part of the minority of people in this country who have experienced losing everything, said to me, "I can't believe I have a daughter who might be homeless." That comment didn't help things.

But what I've resolved for myself is that there's a real difference between getting paid for your performance versus getting paid for your time. I'll never measured for my performance in this particular job. It's like a golden glass ceiling.

So here I go stepping into the unknown. And I choose to step into it from all is and will be well.

There is no crying in doc filmmaking!

While I was editing New Year Baby with my editor Sandra Christie, we sometimes would talk about why I made the film. And I've told her more often than not that I didn't make it to win awards. I told her, "If we don't get into Sundance, I won't even cry."

Well, I lied.

A few days ago, we found out that though the programmers' repeatedly expressed respect for the film, we didn't get an invitation. As I wrote an email to our crew, I shed a few tears, while searching for everyone's email in my contact list. I realized that I wasn't crying out of disappointment that the most famous indie film festival in the world passed on us. I felt like I let our crew down.

Everyone who worked with us did so with sacrifices -- and they were usually monetary. I wanted to be able to show my gratitude for their talent by bringing this film to the most visible level of success, so their work could be highlighted. And what Charles and I realized is that not getting into Sundance keeps us hungry. We're even more motivated to make this film a creative and business success. And judging from the overwhelming response at IDFA, the sky is the limit.

Little did we know IDFA audiences would rate NYB among the top 10 of the more than 173 international films here. I am very proud.

And the winner is . . .

Recently, Charles and I saw the movie Little Miss Sunshine. We both laughed and cried and talked about it for hours afterwards.

The moral of the story is that life is a series of beauty contests. It occured to me that Sundance is just another beauty contest. And I didn't come up with the rules. I didn't even sign up for them.

I realized that the main reason I would be disappointed if we don't get in is for our crew. Everyone has worked so hard to make this film as good as it can be. They really have invested their hearts into it.

But I know the film will find its audience - whether it happens at Sundance or in a village in Cambodia.

Speaking of Genocide

Last Sunday, Charles, Joanne, Leslie and I were at the Save Darfur Rally in Central Park. We volunteered for Human Rights Watch and listened to speakers and singers. I was impressed by two things: 1. how many young people were there (at least 60%) 2. how many Jewish groups were there (as many as 50% of the groups).

It occured to me that Cambodian Americans aren't organized to tell the history of the Khmer Rouge. Therefore they're not organized to advocate for the prevention of genocide.

As Cambodians, what is the conversation we bring to the world? I don't think we have one. Not yet anyway.

Speak Your Peace

This past week, I attended SEARAC's (Southeast Asian Resource Action Center) Leadership Training in DC. Over three days, we developed an advocacy agenda and took it to Capitol Hill. I couldn't believe how easy it was to waltz right into Capitol Hill and speak your peace. If the Congressperson's staff is smart, they should be eager to hear what you have to say.

Our group of six spoke to Sen. Hillary Clinton and Rep. Al Green's office about the problem of mental health in the Southeast Asian community.

I met a lot of wonderful people at the training. And out of it, two projects have been birthed:
1. a Cambodian American women's professional group called Bong Srei: Khmer Sisters
2. a how-to guide on how to honor your parents in the traditional Khmer way.

What It Takes To Make a Film

Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed by this project, I think to myself that I'm doing this all alone. It's my responsibility to make the story work. It's my responsibility as the director to make a great compelling film that people will remember.

Yesterday Charles and I created the credits list for the film. There were 194 lines! We couldn't possibly acknowledge everyone who has ever volunteered at a fundraising party or given an hour of time.

I saw in the document the support it took to make this film happen. How presumptous of me to ever think that I am alone.

Go Mets!

Today, one of our supporters, Chris and his brother Basil Stamos invited us to a Mets Game at Shea Stadium in a sky box. It was a gathering of young activists, artists and entrepreneurs -- such a New York room.

It was a great chance to see Leslie Morioka and Raj Gandesha outside of a conference room. It was a great opportunity to acknowledge the Stamos brothers for being who they are for the world.

Mets lost, but we left with a high.

What's a Film Without an Intern?

We have our first intern! Her name is Sara Newens and we met at a Women Make Movies event. Duties will include helping us with footage research, helping us coordinate fundraising events and petting our dog. Thanks Sara, in advance, for your enthusiasm and support.

A Flood of Support

My editor Sandra and I have been noticing that my voice over is a little less than brilliant. It's somewhere in between the Today Show and VH1 Where Are They Now?

We were racking our brains, trying to think of a writing consultant. We came up with no one.

We sent out an email to filmmakers on our list.

I got 34 responses with people offering their help or referring me to someone else. Many of the people were strangers who totally got turned on to our project from the website. So many people want to contribute to the film. It's wonderful to feel so supported.

Soundtrack to My Life

We've been working recently with our composer, Gil Talmi. It's such a delicious treat to have someone write the perfect soundtrack for your life. I highly recommend it. I have asked him to create honest and organic sounding music. I recently watched scenes that I have seen a billion times. With the perfect music, it was like watching a brand new scene.

Friday the Dog

I got Friday on my birthday a few weeks ago. She is my very first dog and so adorable as you can tell that I often forget that she is animate. She looks like a stuffed dog. Here's the new Broken English Productions mascot!

Thank you to Patrick and Phillip

I'm posting this thank you to two friends. - Socheata

"Yesterday, Socheata Poeuv (Director of New Year Baby) spoke to a room of senior UN Officers and several embassy diplomats at an event hosted by the Soros Foundation's Open Society Justice Initiative. The other three speakers included the Cambodian Ambassador to the UN and two crafters of the upcoming Khmer Rouge Tribunal. Socheata was invited to both speak and screen the 9 min trailer of the film. This was an opportunity to introduce our mission and the film's quality to the highest level diplomats working in Cambodia and the world on human rights.

When I arrived, one of the organizers handed me a projector he didn't know how to operate. No one knew how to operate it. There was also no DVD player. We didn't know if the projector was even compatible with my computer. I couldn't make it work within the 30 min. to start.

Then friends and doc filmmakers Philip Eisenstein and Patrick Horner arrived only to support our work. They not only spent the time hunched over the gear to make it work, Patrick pulled out his own laptop to sync with the unexplained projector. They got it to work briefly and then when it was time for Soch's talk the lamp bulb would not turn on. In that 12th floor room of diplomats overlooking the UN Building, while others listened to the conflicts of international law. Patrick and Philip sat in the front row pressing every button on the projector, rebooting the computer and everything they (and I) could think of. They got it to work before the end of the event!

The crowd laughed and cried. The hosts later told us the trailer was the high light of the event. A multi-Emmy award winning documentary maker passed Soch his card. The Justice Initiative expressed interest in using the finished film for their outreach in Cambodia and Socheata has a new relationship with diplomatic human rights community.

This is all possible because Philip and Patrick showed up and were totally unreasonable and unstoppable"

-Charles Vogl
Producer
Broken English Productions

California Dreamin'

Just returned from a visit to LA. Tuesday I met with the UCLA United Khmer Students Association. The gathering was an intimate one amid a rare rainstorm in Southern California. I was excited to find that the students were visibly moved by the trailer. Some of them shared that this project inspired them to interview their parents about their survival story. Thanks to Seng Peng for setting this up.

On Wednesday, I met with three staffers from the Shoah Foundation at USC. Thank you, Chaim Singer-Frankes for your support and encouragement. I wanted to learn everything I could about their process with a mind toward developing a project modelled after Shoah to archive videotape testimonies from Khmer Rouge survivors. What they have done is astounding and incredibly impressive. They have recorded 52,000 interviews from Holocaust survivors. All are catalogued and indexed to be keyword searchable. What a task!

I asked them how many funds they acquired in seed money to start the project. All three staffers piped in at once -- anywhere from $11 million to $100 million to be exact. I became so intimidated by the project I created.

Then I remembered that 2.5 years ago when I started this documentary, I thought I could finish it in one year and with a mere $75,000. Sometimes naivete is the access to courage.

She's a Brickhouse

The subject of my fim -- the story of how my family survived the Khmer Rouge genocide -- took place a generation ago. Like a number of docs, we have the challenge of covering events for which there is no video. I'm not a big fan of the slow push into a black and white photo a la Ken Burns.

There is one anecdote, I'm especially keen on illustrating. A childhood moment when my mother refused to tell me anything about her past and suddenly put a brickwall. But this is a film; what would I show? Today, the guys at IMI (International Masonry Institute) in Long Island City came to my rescue by constructing a brickwall for us to shoot!

Thank you to Dennis Holloway, Kenny LaValle, and Alfredo Reyes.

First Day Live for the NYB Blog!

Thank you to Elliot Mebane from Roguish Studios and Kevin Johnson from Kintera for taking us live!

Welcome to a blog about the making of my documentary film New Year Baby. In the future, you can come here to follow my journey from idea to PBS!